Drunk Singing
by Reneey Umbra
Summary: Seto Kaiba grudgingly throws a party, and a mysterious figure spikes the punch with some REALLY potent stuff, and then Atem finds a karaoke machine... Crack fic
1. Get This Party Started

Seto Kaiba glared at virtually everybody -- well, everybody who wasn't Lyn or Mokuba. Really, this party was just supposed to be a romantic dinner with him and Lyn, but Lyn had took it as a "party" and thus he had to invite everyone -- Atem, Mai, Marik, Bakura, Tristan, Tea, Reneey, Joey, Duke, Yugi, and Yami Marik. And what annoyed him even more was that he had had to change everything around! Earlier, there had been candles, roses, only one table -- now there were balloons, loud music that his brother had suggested, lots of tables, stupid little snack trays that he absolutely abhorred, and a big bowl of punch.

Seto had earplugs in his ears, for he knew that if he were to take them out, he would go deaf. Or at least have ringing ears for a week.

Stupid party, he thought darkly. Those mutts had better not break anything...

"Lyn, catch!" Reneey yelled, brandishing a vase that had been thrown to her by Joey.

"What!?" Lyn screamed back. "I can't hear you!"

"CATCH THE VASE!"

"Catch the mace? Why the crap do you have mace!?"

"VASE!"

"WHAT SPACE!?"

Then the vase came flying at her face and she caught it to keep it from breaking her nose. However, she then put it down and whacked Reneey upside the head, demanding, "What in heaven's name are you thinking!?"

"Joey and I were playing Monkey in the Middle with Tristan!"

"And what exactly have you and Joey been smoking?"

"Glass!"

"Mass?" Lyn asked, blinking. "You've been smoking Catholics?"

"GLASS!"

"SOMEONE HAS A BASS!?" Tea asked.

"YOU CAN'T SMOKE BASS, EITHER!" Lyn said, rolling her eyes. "WELL, ACTUALLY YOU CAN.. BUT TO EAT, NOT TO SMOKE..."

"GLASS!"

"CHESS? WHAT THE CRAP!?"

"WHO PLAYS CHESS AT A PARTY?" Ryou screamed, by this point being quite sugar-high and as such not the shy type he usually was.

But, nobody noticed a dark figure bending over the gigantic punch bowl and slipping something into it before vanishing.

"GLASS, YA ASS!"

"A TOOTHBRUSH?" Lyn asked, making a face.

Tristan and Joey saw the gigantic punch bowl, got an idea, and they both smirked as they ran over to it.

"On the count of three," Joey said.

"One," Tristan began.

"Two," Joey said.

"THREE!" they yelled together, and then spilled the _spiked_ fruit punch all over everybody, including themselbes.

"EVERYBODY SCREAM WHOOO HOOO!" Ryou randomly yelled, and when everybody opened their mouths to scream, the really really strong spiked punch slid down their throats (somebody pinched Kaiba's ass, which caused him to do an angry scream and the spiked punch went down his throat, too).

"I feel weeeeird," Reneey giggled, spinning around.

"Hey (hic) what's (hic) you (hic) name? (hic)" Lyn asked between hiccups.

"Yami, you have pretty colors," Yugi giggled. Atem groggily backed away from Yugi, but he tripped over a small red box -- with a microphone!

"KARAOKE TIME!" Atem screamed.


	2. Atem Sings

"Okay!" Joey yelled, grinning. "But let's make it interesting. Guys have to sing songs sung by girls and the other way around. Or I think that's what I mean. Did that make any sense to anybody?"

Nobody answered, and Atem laughed and screamed, "I CALL FIRST!"

So he stepped up onstage (It's Kaiba's mansion, of course he has a stage! I mean, duh! What self-respecting billionaire wouldn't have a stage somewhere in his mansion!?), pressed a few buttons on the karaoke machine, and the gigantic TV screen turned on. In big blue letters, it read:

"WE ARE

BY ANA JOHNSON"

Everybody cheered, but no one noticed a small camera on top of the TV screen, facing the stage. (They're all drunk -- you think they would realize it?) Atem cleared his throat as best he could without falling and passing out and began to sing.

_See the devil on the doorstep, now my oh my_

"DEVIL! OMG, HE'S HERE!" Reneey screamed, but nobody paid attention.

_Telling everybody just how to live their lives_

_Sliding down the information highway_

_Buying them like a bunch of fools_

Atem began to sway back and forth while holding the microphone.

_Time is ticking and we can't go back_

"I KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!" Joey yelled with his tongue sticking out.

_What abuot the world today?_

"What's the news?" Lyn asked with a small hiccup.

"News is a funny word," Mokuba giggled.

_What about the place we call home?_

"This _is_ my home, pathetic fool!" Seto snapped. Wow, even though he's drunk, he can still be himself! (A/N: Lyn here -- See, this is the proof that he's almighty! )

_We've never been so many_

"We're like.. IDK... six thousand hundred," Reneey said groggily.

_And we've never been so alone_

Atem's voice dropped and there was silence for two seconds.

The light dimmed a bit. Atem crouched down on one knee, and then BAM -- he flew up again.

_You keep watching from your picket fence_

"PEEPING TOM!" Tea screamed, then randomly passed out.

_You keep on talking, but it makes no sense_

"Hey, I made sense!" Reneey objected, falling onto Lyn's shoulder -- but Lyn was too busy grinning rather stupidly at Seto to really care.

_You say we're not responsible_

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" all of the gang shouted at once.

_But we are_

_We are_

_You wash your hands and you come out clean_

"I don't wash my hands," Tristan laughed.

_Fail to recognize the enemy's within you_

_You say we're not responsible_

"YOU HAVE NO PROOF!" the gang yelled again.

_But we are, we are, we are, we are_

_One step forward making two steps back_

Atem tried to demonstrate this, but fell on his ass. Nonetheless, he continued singing.

_Riding piggy back on the bad boy's back for life_

Reneey suddenly got an idea. WHAM! She threw herself at Marik and clung to his back. Marik, who was drunk, just giggled and didn't mind at all.

_Lining up for the grand illusion_

"HENRY HOUDINI!" Tea screamed as she got up, then randomly passed out once again.

"I thought it was Harry Houdini?" Joey asked, blinking at Tea.

"No, it's Gary!" Tristan objected, tripping over Tea and slamming into a table.

_No answers for no questions asked_

_Lining up for the great execution_

"NO!" Seto yelled. "I'M TOO RICH TO DIE!"

_WITHOUT KNOWING WHY_

"I KNOW WHY!" Lyn screamed, jumping up and down with her hand raised like a schoolgirl.

_You keep watching from your picket fence_

"PEEEEEEPINNNNNNGGG TOOOOOOOOMMMMMM," Mai screamed really slowly.

_You keep on talking but it makes no sense_

"Hey, I make sense! I have sense! I have fifty sense!" Duke announced, glaring at Atem, and obviously mixing up 'sense' and 'cents.'

_You say we're not responsible_

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" came the general roar again.

_But we are_

_We are_

_You wash your hands and come out clean_

"I told you, I don't wash my hands!" Tristan screamed like a girl.

_Fail to recognize the enemies within_

"Oooh, you're one!" Mokuba yelled, pointing to random people. "You're one, and you're one! And you!" he cackled, pointing to himself.

_You say we're not responsible_

"YOU HAVE NO PROOF!"

_But we are_

_We are_

_We are_

Another short pause, then:

_It's all about power_

"YES, POWER, MUAHAHA!" Yugi screamed.

"What about money?" Seto mused curiously.

_Take control_

"I CONTROL MARIK!" Reneey yelled.

_Breaking the rules_

"Screw the rules," Seto said, smirking. "I have Lyn!"

_Breaking the soul_

"BREAKING SOULS IS FUN!" Ryou yelled maniacally. Apparently when Yugi and Ryou got drunk, they became the exact opposite of themselves.

_They'll suck us dry till there's nothing left_

Reneey burst out laughing. "Sucking..."

Lyn whacked her upside the head, muttering something about a perverted idget.

_My oh my_

_My oh my_

_You keep on watching from your picket fence_

Atem laughed insanely.

"PEEEEEEPIIIIIIINGGGG TOOOOOM!" Mai did a slo-mo scream again.

_You keep on talking, but it makes no sense_

"I HAVE FIFTY SENSE!" Duke objected again.

_You say we're not responsible_

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

_But we are_

_We are_

_You wash your hands and you come out clean_

"For the last time," Tristan yelled, "I DON'T WASH MY HANDS!"

_Fail to recognize the enemies within_

"Oh!" Mokuba began to point randomly again. "That's you, and you, and you -- and you, too!" he announced, pointing to a hundred-dollar bill sticking out of Seto's pocket.

_You say we're not responsible_

"YOU HAVE NO PROOF!"

_But we are_

_We are_

_We are_

_It's all about power, then_

_(We are)_

"POWER IS AWESOME!" Yugi and Ryou screamed together.

_Take control_

_(We are)_

"I CONTROL MARIK!" Reneey announced again.

_Breaking the rules_

_(We are)_

"SCREW THE RULES, I HAVE LYN!" Seto yelled this time.

_Breaking the souls_

"NOOOO, NOT MY SOUL!" Bakura and Yami Marik ran around screaming.

_They suck us dry till there's nothing left_

"Sucking," Reneey sniggered, and once again was whacked upside the head by Lyn.

_My oh my_

Atem paused here to grin.

_We are_

"NO WE AREN'T!" Mokuba yelled.

_We are (it's all)_

"All of my fifty sense?" Duke questioned loudly.

_We are_

_We are_

_We are_

_(Take control)_

"I CONTROL MARIK!" Reneey yelled again.

_We are_

_We are_

_It's all about power_

"POWER! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

_TAKE CONTROL_

"I CONTROL MARIK!"

The song ended and Atem bowed. Well, at least he tried to, but he ended up falling offstage and onto the floor.

Mokuba jumped up and down and yelled, "I CALL NEXT SONG, I CALL NEXT SONG!"


	3. Mokuba Sings

Mokuba jumped over Atem's body, grabbed the microphone, and punched seemingly random buttons on the karaoke machine at a very fast pace. Finally the TV screen lit up in big blue letters:

"BARBIE GIRL  
BY AQUA"

"I used to rip off the heads of Barbie dolls," Lyn snickered.

"I put one in the freezer!" Reneey giggled.

Lyn nodded, as if this were the most normal conversation topic ever. "The freezer, the stove, the burn barrel... Kathryn actually has a scar on her wrist from where she and her brother would chop up her Barbies and the scissors slipped."

"I once threw mine out the window into the snow," Tea piped up.

Everybody blinked and looked at her.

"What? She was prettier than me!" Tea said with a hmph before passing out again.

_Hey, Barbie! Hey, Ken!_ Mokuba sang in a squeaky voice.

"BARBIE DOLLS MUST DIE!" Bakura screamed.

"Who in the name of Ra is Ken?" Yami Marik asked.

"I'M KEN!" Tristan sang.

_You wanna go for a ride?_

"Rides are fun," Lyn laughed.

_Sure, jump in!_

"JUMP!" Reneey screamed, and everybody did -- but unfortunately, when they came down, they were all so tipsy that they fell over.

_Hahahahahahahahahahahah_

_I'm a Barbie girl_

_In a Barbie world_

"NOOOO, WE'RE IN A BARBIE WORLD!" Bakura screamed, then got up and ran around in circles.

_Life in plastic_

_Is fantastic_

"I have plastic!" Reneey screamed.

_You can brush my hair_

_Undress me everywhere_

"Why the crap would I want to do that, I wanna know?" Lyn asked, making a face.

_Imagination_

_Life is your creation_

_Come on, Barbie_

_Let's go party!_

"I WANNA PARTY ALL NIGHT LONG!" Joey screamed.

Reneey grinned and whispered, "I wanna rock and roll all night.. and party every day..."

_I'm a Barbie girl_

_In a Barbie world_

"NO, I DON'T WANT TO BE IN A BARBIE WORLD!" Bakura yelled, now scratching at the walls.

_Life in plastic_

_It's fantastic_

"I'M NOT PLASTIC!" Yami Marik screamed, and he joined Bakura in clawing at the walls.

_You can brush my hair_

_Undress my everywhere_

"Er, Mokuba," Seto said slowly, blinking at his brother, "why are you telling people to undress you...?"

_Imagination_

_Life is your creation_

"THEN CREATE US A WAY OUT OF THIS HELLHOLE!" Bakura pleaded.

_I'm a blonde singing girl_

_In your fantasy world_

"YOU'RE BLONDE!?"

Everyone got up and stared, wide-eyed.

_Dress me up_

_Take your time_

_I'm your dollie_

"NO, SHE'S MY DOLL!" Seto objected, grabbing Lyn and pulling her close. It was a good thing Atem had passed out from the fall off the stage or else Seto would probably be in the Shadow Realm by now.

_You're my doll_

_Rock and roll_

_Feel the glamour and pain_

"MOKUBA IS A MASOCHIST LIKE ME!" Reneey yelled, giggling, as she nipped Marik's earlobe.

_Kiss me here_

_Touch me there_

_Hanky-panky_

"NO, PERVERTED!" Mai yelled, slapping Joey for no reason.

_You can touch_

_You can play_

"MOKUBA LIKES BDSM!" Reneey yelled.

Ryou blinked and asked, "What's BDSM?"

_You can say I'm always yours_

_Oooh_

_Whoah_

"NO, SHE'S MINE!" Seto yelled, pulling Lyn closer.

"Seto.. can't.. breathe..."

"Of course I can breathe," Seto said, blinking at Lyn. "What are you talking about?"

_I'm a Barbie girl_

_In a Barbie world_

"NO, GET US OUT!" Bakura yelled, starting scratching at the windows.

_Life in plastic_

_It's fantastic_

"I'M NOT PLASTIC!" Yami Marik yelled, and started clawing at the floors.

_You can brush my hair_

_Undress me anywhere_

"_You_ can undress me anytime," Duke said, smirking at Serenity, who merely grinned in response. (Psh, she's drunk, like she's still gonna be all innocent... Actually, Joey would ordinarially punch Duke's lights out, but.. he's.. currently passed out...)

_Imagination_

_Life is your creation_

"CREATE US A WAY OUT OF HERE!" Bakura and Yami Marik yelled again.

_Make me walk_

_Make me talk_

_Do whatever you please_

"MOKUBA LIKES BDSM!"

_I can act like a star_

"I SEE A STAR!" Yugi yelled.

_I can beg on my knees_

"BDSM!"

_Come jump in_

_Be your friend_

_Let's do it again_

"WE NEVER DID ANYTHING!" Seto yelled.

_Hit the town_

_Fool around_

_Let's party_

Ryou tapped his fingers on the wall and sang, "I wanna rock and roll all night.. and party every day..."

_You can touch_

_You can play_

"BDSM!"

_You can say I'm always yours_

"Of course she's always mine," Seto said confidently, holding onto Lyn tightly and inadvertantly beginning to squeeze the air out of her again.

_You can touch_

_You can play_

"BDSM!"

_You can say I'm always yours_

"SHE'S MINE!"

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah _

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh _

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah _

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh_

"HE'S MAKING NOISES!" Reneey screeched as she gripped Marik tighter.

_Come on, Barbie_

_Let's go party_

This time everybody started singing, "I.. wanna rock and roll all night.. and party every day..."

_Come on, Barbie_

_Let's go party_

"I.. wanna rock and roll all night.. and party every day..."

_Come on, Barbie_

_Let's go party_

"This _is_ a party," Seto pointed out.

_Come on, Barbie_

_Let's go party_

"MOKUBA!" Seto yelled, trying to get his brother's attention. Or maybe just make him stop singing in that annoyingly high-pitched voice, there was really no telling.

_I'm a Barbie girl_

_In a Barbie world_

"MAKE THIS TORTURE STOP!" everyone yelled, by now becoming very fearful of the Barbies.

_Life in plastic_

_It's fantastic_

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING PLASTIC!?" Lyn demanded angrily.

_You can brush my hair_

_Undress me everywhere_

"Eww, mental images," Mai groaned, banging her head against the wall.

_Imagination_

_Life is your creation_

"THEN CREATE US A WAY OUT OF HERE ALREADY!" Yami Marik demanded.

_I'm a Barbie girl_

_In a Barbie world_

"GAH! I'M NOT A BARBIE!" Seto snarled.

_Life in plastic_

_Is fantastic_

Lyn glared and hissed, "I am _so_ not plastic..."

_You can brush my hair_

_Undress me everywhere_

BANG BANG BANG BANG went Mai's head against the wall.

_Imagination_

_Life is your creation_

"AHHHHHHH!" Yami Marik screamed.

_Come on, Barbie_

_Let's go party_

"I wanna rock and roll all night.. and party every day..."

_Come on, Barbie_

_Let's go party_

"Oi, Mokuba," Seto said with a raised eyebrow. "Have you got the brain of the mutt and cat here? This _is_ a party!"

_Come on, Barbie_

_Let's go party_

"I give up," Seto declared, throwing his arms in the air and kissing Lyn just because. However, he promptly got a golden puzzle upside the head for it.

_Come on, Barbie_

_Let's go party_

"I wanna rock and roll all night... and party every day..."

_Oh, I'm having so much fun_

"No, we're not," snorted Atem before passing out again.

_Well, Barbie_

_We're just getting statred_

"WE DIDN'T START ANYTHING!" Seto and Lyn yelled simultaneously.

_Oh, I love you, Ken_

"YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO KNOW LOVE, MOKUBA!"

Reneey let go of Marik and stomped to the stare while trying not to fall over. Mokuba fell asleep curled up in a ball, and she took the mic and announced, "MEI GOIEE NEXTIEEEE!"


	4. Reneey Sings

On the big, giant TV, the screen changed to read

"WOOGIWOOGIWU

BY INSANE CLOWN POSSE"

"CLOWNS!" Duke screamed like a girl (no offense to girls, Lyn and I are both girls, after all XD), and hid under a blanket.

Reneey started off talking instead of singing. Well, really, this is a rap song, so.. really.. she shouldn't be singing...

_The beast lives out of a raging storm in the dead of night_

"It's storming?" Joey asked, blinking.

"THE DEAD ARE HERE!?" Tristan yelled, taking a broomstick, putting it between his legs, and riding it around like a horse, screaming, "THE DEAD ARE COMING!" Apparently he had a bizarre urge to play a retarded Paul Revere.

_The ravenous blood-sucking creature searches for its sacrifice_

"Oi, vultures!" Lyn yelled.

_Through the hideous darkness it lurks, driven by death itself_

"DEATH IS COMING!"

_Only the satisfaction of slaughter will cause it to return from whence it came_

_Boogi woogi woo boogie woogie woo_

"I thought it was boogy-man," Tea mumbled.

_Boogi woogi woo boogi woogi woo_

_Hello, boys and girls, it's nighty-night time_

"NIGHTY NIGHT TIME!" Yugi echoed as he curled up into a ball and fell asleep.

_Happy J Clown has a nursery rhyme_

"What are we, three-year-olds?" Seto hugged.

"NURSERY RHYMES OF HELL!" Tristan yelled, 'riding' by on his broom.

_It's about the woogi woogi man_

_Keep your lights on for as long as you can_

"Psh, like I'm afraid of the dark," Lyn said, rolling her eyes.

_Cuz when it cuts off, so does your head_

"I DON'T WANNA DIE!" Yami Marik screamed.

Tea grinned, knocked on her head, and said, "Hi, head! May I come in?"

_Boogi woogi woo waits under your bed_

"PERVERT!" Mai screamed.

_With a shank splash! Up through the bottom_

"Can you go up through the bottom?" Lyn wondered.

_Little Jimmy Jimmy.. got him._

"NO!" Ryou yelled, falling to his knees. "POOR JIMMY! WHY!? WHY JIMMY!?"

"Jimmy Neutron?" Joey asked with a childish grin. "Jimmy Neutron's awesome!"

_It's the only and only boogi man!_

"BOOGIE MAN!" Lyn yelled, grinning. "I used to talk to him, he's awesome."

_He creeps, he hides, he sneaks, he slides_

"I wanna play hide and seek!" Mai announced.

_If your little feetsies are hanging off the edge of the bed_

Yugi gasped as he woke up. "MINE DO!"

_You're running on stomps motherfucker!_

"What's motherfucker?" Ryou asked innocently.

_Well, moonlight fills the room that you're sleeping in_

"Moonlight is a funny time," Yami Bakura said.

"I don't sleep," Yami Marik muttered.

_Things go bump in the night_

Lyn grinned and started to sing under her breath: "You cannot run.. and you cannot hide -- yeah, you've gotta face it, baby, things go bump in the niiiight..."

_Me creeping_

"PERVERT!" Mai screamed again.

_Quick -- fuck, I stubbed my toe_

Reneey glared at an object that wasn't really there.

_If ya quit leaving ya shit all over the fucking floor_

Reneey kicked a glass that was on the stage, then spun around and fell on her back.

"WATCH IT, THAT ALMOST HIT ME!" Atem yelled, then passed out again.

_Fuck it, you're dead anyway_

"DEATH IS COMING!"

"Psh, like I'm afraid of dying," Lyn said, rolling her eyes.

_And I'm gonna leave your head smack dab in the hallway_

"Oh, I have three hallways in my house," Lyn said, grinning. "So which hallway?"

_In the morning when ya daddy walks out_

_Ahhh his foot in your mouth_

_All thanks to the boogi man_

"HE'S HERE!" Tea screamed.

_Boogi woogi woo boogi woogi woo_

_(Here comes the boogi man)_

"I'm friends with the boogie man!" Lyn screamed.

_Boogi woogi woo boogi woogi woo_

_(Haha haha haha haha)_

"How could someone do such a retarded laugh?" Seto asked, blinking.

_Boogi woogi woo boogi woogi woo_

_(Make way for the boogi man)_

"THE BOOGIE MAN IS COMING!" Tristan yelled.

_Boogi woogi woo boogi woogi woo_

_(Mom! Dad! Oh no!)_

"HEY DAD!" Lyn yelled at Atem. "WHO'S MOM!?"

_Does the boogi man really exist?_

"YES, HE DOES!" Lyn yelled. "I'm friends with him!"

_Well, if your mom's a bald headed freak, bitch? Yes_

"HEY! Mom is not a bald headed freak!" Joey yelled, and put a hand on his hair. "_I'm_ a bald headed freak!" And he ripped off his hair, being drunk and thinking that it was a wig even though it was real hair.

_You fall asleep and wake up dead_

"DEATH IS COMING!"

Lyn blinked and asked, "Can you actually wake up if you're dead...?"

_With a broken broomstick sticking out of your forehead_

"BROKEN BROOMSTICK!? NO! I'LL SAVE MY BROOMSTICK!" Tristan yelled, clutching the broomstick tighter.

_I sing lullabies till you doze off_

"Mary had a little lamb," Yugi mumbled in his sleep.

_Tie you down and chew your fucking toes off_

"No! Not Tea 1, Tea 2, Tea 3, Tea 4, Tea 5, Tea 6, Tea 7, Tea 8, Tea9 and Tea 10!" Tea yelled, joining Duke in hiding under the blanket.

"DUKE AND TEA ARE MAKING OUT!" Mokuba announced, jumping up and screaming and pointing at the blanket before passing out.

_And throw 'em up back at ya face! Fuck! Wash your feet, bitch!_

"I wash!" Seto growled.

_The world famous boogi woogi woo man will come to you_

"Yay, I always wanted to see a friend!" Lyn said, twirling around.

_Slumber parties, sleepers, intimate nights_

"WE DO NOT HAVE INTIMATE NIGHTS!" Seto and Lyn screamed together.

_Whatever the occasion of the midnight hour_

"IT'S NOT MIDNIGHT!"

_He'll gladly come in and fuck that shit up_

_I don't beat women, fuck that, I'm above it (no-no)_

"I hit people if they piss me off," Seto muttered. "Or if they kidnap Mokuba.. which happens a lot..."

"I use my Shadow powers," Yami Bakura smirked.

"Who asked you?" Lyn asked.

_But I'll cut her fucking throat and think nothing about it_

"Cutting.. bad..." Yugi mumbled.

_I betcha ya didn't know the boogi man was a clown_

"Oh, I knew he was a clown," Lyn said.

_But when you see the juggler, you're holding your jugular_

"What's.. jugular?" Joey asked, blinking.

_With a swing, chop, swing, stab_

"Chopping things is fun," Ryou laughed evilly.

_You're holding your neck together, but your nuts dropped_

Mokuab awoke then. "HEY! I DON'T HAVE ANY NUTS!"

_And the cops do the best they can_

"Cops! Nooo!" Atem thrashed around in his sleep.

_They pull out the ax and ask, Was it the boogi man?_

"THE BOOGIE MAN IS COMING!"

_Boogi woogi woo boogi woogi woo_

_(Here comes the boogi man)_

"I'm friends with the boogie man!" Lyn screamed.

_Boogi woogi woo boogi woogi woo_

_(Haha haha haha haha)_

"How could someone do such a retarded laugh?" Seto asked, blinking.

_Boogi woogi woo boogi woogi woo_

_(Make way for the boogi man)_

"THE BOOGIE MAN IS COMING!" Tristan yelled.

_Boogi woogi woo boogi woogi woo_

_(Mom! Dad! Oh no!)_

"HEY DAD!" Lyn yelled at Atem. "WHO'S MOM!?"

_What was he wearing?_

"Who wears what?" Yami Bakura asked.

_Please don't let me fall asleep_

"Why would I fall asleep when my good friend the boogie man is coming?" Lyn asked, blinking.

_Cuz the boogi man will creep through my window in my room_

"So that explains the missing sheets!" Marik said.

_And stab me with a broken room_

"At least that's original," Lyn muttered. "Usually it's knives, but never a broken broom..."

_Please don't let me fall asleep_

"I'M NOT FALLING ASLEEP!"

_Cuz the boogi man will creep through my window in my room and stab me with a --_

"A wha?" Yugi wondered, rolling to his side.

_AHHHHHHHHH Boogi woogi woo!_

_It's the incredible, undeadable boogi man!_

"Nothing can be undead," Yami Marik hmphed.

_Go ahead, pull those covers over your head_

"Sure!" Atem and Yugi pulled an invisible blanket over themselves.

_Hide under them, he don't give a fuck! It'll make it just as easy for him to strangle you with_

Tea and Duke quickly ran out from under the blanket to hide behind Lyn, who twitched and growled, "Er, yeah -- personal bubble, you idgets!"

_There's three ways to stop me from doing what I do_

The music stopped for a minute or two as Reneey held up ten fingers (in her drunk state, she thought it was three) and everyone leaned in.

_What? You think I'm gonna tell you?_

"Aww, why not?" Lyn pouted. "I can keep a secret."

_Okay, could you leave the door open a bit?_

"Good idea!" Yami Marik and Yami Bakura as they unlocked and opened the front door a bit (AKA a LOT).

_Thanks, an easy awy in, you fucking idiot_

"IDGETS! CLOSE THE DOOR!"

_Now I stretch ya neck out, play it like a banjo_

Reneey took the mic and started playing it like it was a banjo.

_Boomchika boomchika like that shit, yo?_

"Yes," Ryou giggled. "It's a funny tune.

_Then I stretch it out more and fling your head through the ceiling_

"I once fell through the ceiling," Yugi mumbled.

_It's the boogi man, y'all_

"THE BOOGIE MAN IS HERE!" Tristan yelled.

_Boogi woogi woo boogi woogi woo_

_(Here comes the boogi man)_

"I'm friends with the boogie man!" Lyn said, stomping the ground. "SO THEREFORE HE SHOULD BE HERE!"

_Boogi woogi woo boogi woogi woo_

_(Haha haha haha haha)_

"How could someone do such a retarded laugh?" Seto asked, blinking.

_Boogi woogi woo boogi woogi woo_

_(Make way for the boogi man)_

"THE BOOGIE MAN IS COMING!" Tristan yelled.

_Boogi woogi woo boogi woogi woo_

_(Mom! Dad! Oh no!)_

"DADDY! WHO IS MOM!?"

Reneey fell off the stage, hit her head, and passed out.

Mai suddenly jumped up and yelled, "I CALL NEXT! MY TURN NEXT!"


	5. Mai Sings

A/N: Lyn here.. yeah, had to up the rating to M because Rea just had to have Mai sing this song... So horrible... x.x

Mai got up and grinned as the big TV screen changed to read:

"LET'S DO IT LIKE THEY DO ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL

BY BLOODHOUND GANG"

_You and me are nothing but mammals_

"You just now noticed that?" Lyn snorted.

_So let's do it like they do on the Discovery channel_

"It should really be Animal Planet," Reneey mumbled.

"Yeah.. I really don't see animals mating..." Yami Bakura muttered.

_Sweat, baby_

_Sweat, baby_

"Okay!" Ryou giggled as he started running around in circles.

_Sex is a Texas drought_

Seto blinked and said slowly, "I've never had sex, but.. I'm pretty sure it's not a Texas drought..."

"Dagblame yankees," Lyn growled, rolling her eyes.

_Me and you do the kind of stuff_

"WE DON'T DO ANYTHING!" Lyn and Seto yelled.

"AND NEITHER DO ME AND MARIK! ... WELL..." Reneey said. (A/N: She's sleeping XD But like... sleep talking!)

_That only Prince will sing about_

"Prince?" Yugi asked in his sleep. "Who's that?"

_So put your hands down my pants_

Joey giggled, "I wouldn't mind..."

Lyn and Seto made matching "Ugh!" faces at that.

_And I bet you'll feel nuts_

"I DON'T HAVE ANY NUTS!" Mokuba yelled.

"I'll explain it when you're older," Seto said, shaking his head.

_Yes, I'm Siskel_

_Yes, I'm Ebert_

_And you're getting two thumbs up_

"Oh, yay!" Yami Marik held two thumbs up, grinning.

_You've had enough of two hand touch_

Lyn blinked. "What, two hand touch football?"

"This song is catchy," Marik said, grinning.

_You want it rough_

_You're out of bounds_

"Bounds?" Tristan asked. "You mean like basketball?"

"Is this a song about football or something?" Lyn asked, still blinking.

_I want you smothered, want you covered_

"I once covered my Barbie dolls in hot ashes," Lyn giggled.

_Like my Waffle House_

"Waffles seem good about now," Atem said sleepily. "Kaiba, do you have waffles?"

Seto stared and said impatiently, "Atem, you're in my _house_! Of course I have waffles!"

_House hashbrown, coming quicker than Fed-Ex_

"What's Fed Ex?" Tea asked.

Lyn shook her head and muttered, "Yankees..."

_Never reach an apex like a Coca-Cola stand_

"I WANA COCA-COLA!" Yugi yelled.

"Well, I want Pepsi!" Tristan overruled him.

"Dr. Pepper beats all!" Lyn and Reneey chorused. Then Lyn grinned sheepishly and added, "Anyway, I'm allergic to Pepsi..."

_You are inclined to make me rise an hour early_

Seto then kissed Lyn, just because.

"You always make me rise an hour early... and not in a perverted way."

_Just like daylight savings time_

"DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME IS COMING!" Tristan yelled, playing Paul Revere with the broomstick again.

_Do it now_

"Do what?" everybody asked together.

_You and me, baby, are nothing but mammals_

_So let's do it like they do on the Discovery channel_

"You mean Myth Busters?" Lyn wondered.

"Dirty Jobs," Reneey added.

"Smash Lab, the total ripoff of Myth Busters?" Lyn went on.

"Cash Cab?" Reneey continued.

"And It Takes A Thief?" Lyn and Reneey asked together.

_Do it again now_

"DO WHAT!?"

_You and me, baby, are nothing but mammals_

"Well, duh," Lyn said, rolling her eyes.

"WE'RE NOT ANIMALS!" Yami Bakura and Yami Marik yelled.

_So let's do it like they do on the Discovery channel_

"I wanna do Myth Busters!"

"I wanna do It Takes A Thief!"

_Gettin' horny now_

"What's horny?" Mokuba asked in an innocent voice.

"I'll tell you when you're older," Seto said, shaking his head.

_Love the kind that you clean up_

"How can you clean up love/" Tea asked. "I always thought it was perfect -- like friendship!"

_With a mop and bucket_

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE MY MOP AWAY, EITHER!" Tristan yelled, randomly finding one of those and clutching it protectively, too.

_Like the lost catacombs of Egypt_

"I wanna go to Egypt," Reneey mumbled.

_Only God knows where we stuck it_

"Stuck what?" Mokuba asked, blinking.

Seto shook his head. "I'll tell you when you hit puberty."

"What's puberty?"

"I'll tell you when you're older."

_Heiroglyphics? Let me be Pacific_

"YANKEES! THE PACIFIC AIN'T NEAR EGYPT!"

_I wanna be down in your South Seas_

"Seas," Yugi giggled in his sleep. "Funny word."

_But I got this notion_

"What's notion?" Joey asked.

"An idea," Reneey said, and everybody paused to stare at her.

"What? I pay attention in lit class.. at times..."

_That's the motion of your ocean_

"THERE'S AN OCEAN!? POOL PARTY!" Joey, Duke, and Tristan yelled.

_Mean, small, crafty adversary_

_So if I capsize your thighs_

"You really can't do that," Lyn muttered.

"Well.. you can.. but it will ruin your figure..."

_High tide_

_B5_

_You sunk my battleship_

"I wanna play Battleship!" Mokuba siad, grinning.

Seto groaned. "I'll tell you when you're older..."

_Please turn me on_

_I'm Mr. Coffee_

Everyone blinked at Mai. "YOU'RE A HE!?"

_With an automatic drip_

"Can a woman drip?" Mokuba asked, and Seto hit his head on the wall.

"I'll tell you when you're older!"

_Show me yours, I'll show you mine_

"Sure, I will," Ryou giggled.

"NOOOO, I DON'T WANNA SEE!" Lyn yelled, hiding behind Seto.

"You think _I_ wanna see?" Seto asked with a grimace.

"See what?" Mokuba asked, poking Seto.

"I'll tell you when you're older!"

_Tool time, you'll love it just like Lyle_

"Tools! Oh, I wanna play with tools!" Yugi said.

"Oh, tools! Can I play, too, big brother?"

Seto groaned and began hitting his head on the wall again.

_And we'll do it doggy style_

"We have a dog, big brother?"

"I'LL TELL YOU WHEN YOU'RE OLDER!"

_So we both can watch X-Files_

"What's X-Files?" Mokuba asked.

"I.. don't.. know," Seto said in between banging his head.

Lyn sighed, put her hand between Seto's head and the wall to cushion it, and explained, "X-Files is a really retarded alien-conspiracy-theory-type show. Which I hate, I might add."

_You and me, baby, are nothing but mammals_

_So let's do it like they do on the Discovery channel_

"I wanna be in Myth Busters!"

"And I wanna be in It Takes A Thief!"

_Do it again now_

"Do what?" Yugi asked, and Atem widened his eyes as he woke up.

"Um... I'll tell you when you're older, too!"

Then he promptly passed out again.

_You and me baby are nothing but..._

Mai hiccuped, fell, and passed out. But the song was going to end in a second, anyway, so it didn't really matter.

Marik promptly grinned like a fool and announced, "I CALL NEXT! MUAHAHAHAHAHA..."


	6. Marik Sings

Marik hopped up onstage, but not before grabbing Reneey's arm and kissing her (though a Ring hit him upside the head a moment later). Then he grabbed the mic as the words on the TV screen changed to:

"I THINK I LOVE YOU

BY KACI"

"Oh, love!" Tea said, spinning around with stars in her eyes. "A wonderful thing! Second only to friendship! You and Reneey are so lucky!"

"Um.. thanks," Lyn said slowly, getting weirded out by Tea.

_I'm sleeping_

"No, you're not!" Yami Marik said, glaring. "I'm your yami! I know when you're sleeping!"

_And I'm right in the middle of a good dream_

"We..."

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT FINISHING THAT SENTENCE!" Lyn screamed at Reneey, who just gave an innocent look.

_Then all at once I woke up_

"You were never asleep in the first place!" Yami Marik snarled.

_From something that keeps knocking on my brain_

Joey, Tristan, and Duke grinned as they started knocking on each other's heads.

"Hello!"

"Hello, who's there?"

_Before I go insane_

"I think we're past insane," Bakura muttered.

_I hold my pillow to my head_

Yugi and Atem held invisible pillow to their heads, pretending to sleep on them.

_And spring up in my bed_

And the same pair jumped up from their invisible beds, but once they fell down.. they literally fell down.

_Screaming out the words I dread_

"Dread?" Joey asked, blinking. "What's that?"

_I THINK I LOVE YOU!_

Yami Bakura just glared.

_This morning I woke up with this feeling_

_Morning sickness!?_ Reneey wondered. _Is Marik pregnant!?!?_

_I don't know how to deal with_

"That's easy," Lyn muttered, crossing her arms. "Just let it out," she concluded with a grin.

"Or send random people to the Shadow Realm," Ryou said, giggling.

_And so I just decided to myself_

"Decided what?" the gang wondered.

_I'll hide it in myself_

"That doesn't work," Seto said seriously. "I should know."

_And never talk about it_

"_That_ doesn't work, either," Seto added with a sigh.

_And don't go and shout about it_

"Like that's gonna happen," Mai said with a sigh.

_When you walk into the room_

"WE'RE ALL IN A ROOM, IDGET," Lyn said -- well, _screamed_.

_I THINK I LOVE YOU!_

_I think I love you!_

"Think?" Lyn snorted. "Yeah, I've seen puppy love, and Marik is in puppy love."

_So what am I so afraid of?_

"Love can be fearful," Seto said, shrugging.

_I'm afraid that I'm not sure of_

Everybody but Reneey snorted at that.

_A love there is no cure for_

"Love is a cure!" Tea giggled.

_I think I love you_

_Isn't that what the world is made of?_

"And wars," Seto said.

"Hypocrites," Reney continued.

"And dingbats," Lyn finished with a sigh.

_Though it worries me to say_

_I never felt this way_

_Believe me, you really don't have to worry_

Yami Bakura glared. _Just let that scum touch my daughter one more time..._

_I only want to make you happy_

"Aww," Tea and Mai sighed in a lovely way.

_And if you say, go away, I will_

"SO GO AWAY!" Yami Bakura screamed, and Lyn smacked him upside the head.

"He means Reneey, you idget! ... Although I have no idea why he's talking like Yoda..."

"Who's Yoda?" Mokuba asked.

"I'll tell you when you're older," Seto said, purely out of habit, as he had no idea who Yoda was, either.

_But I think I better still, I'll stay around and love you_

"YOU ARE NOT GETTING NEAR HER!" Yami Bakura yelled.

_Do you think I have a case?_

"Like a detective case?" Duke asked, blinking.

"Case closed!" Reneey said, spinning around.

_Well, let me ask you to your face_

Marik turned to Reneey.

_Do you think you love me?_

Lyn shook her head and muttered, "Oi.. cotton-picking IDGET..."

_I think I love you_

"We're past the 'think' part," Seto grumbled.

_So why am I so afraid?_

"Rejection," Lyn said, blinking.

_Afraid that I'm not sure of_

_A love there is no cure for_

Tea stomped the ground and objected, "Love is a cure!"

_I think I love you_

_Isn't that what life is made of?_

"And other crap," Lyn, Seto, and Reneey muttered.

_Though it worries me to say_

Yami Marik burst out laughing.

_I never felt this way_

"Well, duh," Yami Marik said, rolling his eyes.

_I don't know what I'm up against_

"Only I know," Lyn said, grinning.

_I don't know what it's all about_

"I know!" Lyn said, jumping up and down with her hand held high in the air like a schoolgirl.

_I've got so much to think about_

"Yeah," Atem mumbled in his sleep, "you do.. if you just realize the whole love thing..."

_Hey, I think I love you!_

"YOU'RE PAST THE THINKING PART!" Seto yelled.

_So what am I so afraid of?_

Lyn sighed and said, "I am not saying this twenty times over because of the stupid chorus or repetition or whatever!"

_Afraid that I'm not sure of_

"Afraid that you're not sure that you love Reneey?" Yami Bakura asked, blinking.

_A love that there is no cure for_

"LOVE _IS_ A CURE!" Tea screamed.

_I think I love you_

"YOU'RE PAST THE THINKING PART!" everybody but Reneey screamed.

_Isn't that was life is made of?_

"Eh, in a way," Ryou said slowly.

_So it worries me to say_

"Did he ever say 'I love you' to Reneey?" Bakura asked, getting mad. "MY DAUGHTER DESERVED SOMEONE THAT ACTUALLY LOVES HER!"

_That I never felt this way_

_I think I love you_

"YOU'RE PAST -- OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? WHATEVER!" Lyn yelled, throwing her hands up in the air.

_So what am I so afraid of?_

"There's no need to fear love!" Tea announced, striking a pose.

_Afraid that I'm not sure of_

"Tombkeeper, you'd better be sure," Bakura growled.

_A love there is no cure for_

... Cricket...

_I think I love you_

Cricket.

_Isn't that was life is made of?_

... Cricket cricket.

_I THINK I LOVE YOU!_

Marik screamed that part, did a swing, tripped, and fell, already passed out.

Bakura promptly stomped forward and announced, "I AM SO NEXT!"


	7. Bakura Sings

A/N: Me and Lyn would like to thank all of our reviewers! Anyway, we are here to answer some questions -- not comments, but questions. First off:

Blacksand1: We never thought of making them high! Maybe we'll do a sequal called "High Dancing." XD

"Sex is more important than saving the world" XD THat's pure classic

Janoncaluvkaiba: To know who Reneey and Lyn are, you have to read We're not in a FANFIC!

---

Yami Bakura jumped over Marik, but not before glaring at him and "accidentally" kicking him on the way up. Then he turned to the big TV screen, which now read

"MISS LUCY HAS SOME LEECHES

BY EMILIE AUTUMN"

He cleared his throat and began to sing. Surprisingly (AN: Shut up, Lyn! ), his voice wasn't actually all that bad.

_Miss Lucy has some leeches_

"There were leeches in Ginger Snaps, and those leeches indiated if you're a werewolf or not," Reneey said, grinning.

"Don't you mean wolfsbane?" Seto asked, blinking.

"Nope," Lyn and Reneey said together, and then Lyn continued, "Wolfsbane is a plant generally believe to stop a werewolf from transforming. Totally different thing."

_Her leeches like to suck_

"Suck," Reneey, Joey, Duke, and Tristan laughed, which caused Lyn to whack them all upside the head.

_And when they drink up all her blood_

"VAMPIRES!" Yami Marik squealed as he hid under the huge, now empty punchbowl.

"You know that bowl's clear, idiot," Lyn said, rolling her eyes.

"Of course I do," Yami Marik said huffily.

"There's a religion of vampires," Reneey said.

"I know a modern vampire," Lyn added, grinning.

The clear punchbowl which Yami Marik was hiding not so effectually under promptly began to walk away quickly.

_She didn't give a_

"What?" everybody asked, blinking.

_Funny, when the doctors locked her up in her cell_

"PROOF THAT DOCTORS TRY TO KILL YOU!" Reneey yelled, running around in circles.

_Miss Lucy screamed all night_

"IT'S NOT NIGHT!" Seto declared.

_That they should go to bloody --_

"BLOOD!?" Yami Marik shrieked as he jumped up onto the table. Yeah, he's.. DIFFERENT when he's drunk.

_Hello to the surgeon_

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE YA FUCKERS!" Reneey screamed as she kept running around. "THE MEN IN WHITE COATS WORK FOR THE MEN IN BLUE COATS WHO WORK FOR THE MEN IN RADIOACTIVE COATS AND THEY ALL WORK FOR THE MASTER OF THE GREEN JACKET!"

Only Lyn got it, and she sighed, while everybody else blinked and Seto asked, "Er.. should I ask?"

"I'll tell you later," Lyn said, patting his shoulder reassuringly.

_With scalpel old and blunt_

"What's a scalpel?" came a chorus of voices, and everyone looked at Lyn, who rolled her eyes.

"Surgical tool, idgets. Used to cut people open."

_He'll tie you to a table_

"DADDY LIKES DSBM! OMFG!"

"UMBRA!" Seto screamed, glaring. "YOU'RE MAKING MY EARS RING!"

_Then he'll mutilate_

"What's that mean?" the chorus of people asked Lyn again.

This time she just sighed, shook her head, and grumbled something about people treating her like a human dictionary.

_Come, it's nearly tea time_

"Can you actually mutilate cum?" Reneey asked.

"Don't _even_ ask!" Lyn declared. "I don't wanna know, and if I did, I wouldn't tell you!"

_The lunatics arrive_

"We're already here, thanks," Lyn said, grinning insanely.

_The keeper bleeds them all until_

Everybody (except Yami Bakura) leaned in to hear what was next.

_There's no one left_

"Hey!" Lyn objected. "I don't kill people! I just smack them a good one.. sometimes..."

_Lovely little rodents_

"MOUSE!" Tea screamed.

"IT'S A FUCKING THREE-INCH MOUSE!"

"Actually, Rea, there is no mouse," Lyn sighed.

_Are eaten up by cats_

"Eaten up," Reneey laughed, which caused Lyn to smack her upside the head.

_We're subject to experiments_

"THE TRUTH THAT DOCTORS KILL US!" Reneey yelled.

_Like laboratory_

"What are you talking about?" Atem mumbled. "We aren't in any laboratory..."

_Rats, I dropped a tea cup_

_How easily they break_

"Do not!" Reneey said, bringing around, but unfortunately, a china cabinet was there and they all fell down with a loud crash.

"UMBRA!"

"RENEEY!"

"I DIDN'T DO IT!"

_I'm on my hands and knees_

"No, you're not!" Marik objected.

"And I really don't wanna see it," Lyn muttered.

_Till I pay for mis-_

"Mistake?" Joey asked.

_Take off all your clothes_

"Why in Ra's name would we want to do that?" Yami Marik asked, glaring.

_We only just began_

"WE DIDN'T START ANYTHING!" Seto and Lyn yelled.

_We have no anesthesia_

"What's that?" everybody asked Lyn again, and in response, she rolled her eyes and sighed.

_For it's eighteen forty --_

"I thought we were in the twenty-first century?" Lyn asked, blinking.

_One thing we should tell you before you try again_

"WE NEVER DID ANYTHING!"

_These tests are invented by a lot of filthy_

"Rats?" Yami Marik asked.

"Mice?" Reneey asked.

"Blue-tailed lizards?" Lyn asked, blinking.

_Mentally hysteric_

"What's that mean?" came the general chorus again, and Lyn promptly began to beat her head against the wall.

_She failed the exam_

"She failed all of them," Lyn grumbled, glaring at Reneey, who objected, "Well, nobody told me I had to memorize the crap they gave me!"

_Don't bother telling Lucy, for she doesn't give a --_

"Crap?"

"Damn?"

"Fuck?"

_Damn, that's nitrus oxide_

"That means?" Once again, everyone looked at Lyn.

"IT'S A GAS, YOU MORONS!"

And everybody -- well, except Seto and Reneey -- took a step away from Lyn.

_For when you can't escape_

"We can!" Lyn yelled, jumping up and down, along with Reneey and.. Ryou?

_They say a sugeon often commits a murder or a --_

"What!? TELL US!" Ryou commanded, jumping around.

_Razor blades are nasty and not a lot of fun_

"Well, duh," Seto and Lyn said simultaneously, rolling their eyes.

_So when they amputate your legs_

Before anyone could say anything, Lyn ordered, "GET YOURSELVES A DAGBLAME DICTIONARY!"

_You better run and fetch the chemist_

"You can't really do that if your legs have been amputated," Lyn muttered.

_The patient's feeling sad_

"Who is the patient?" Duke asked.

_She's been in chains for ages_

"So that's where my chains went!" Reneey said with a grin, and everybody took a step away.

_And she isn't even..._

"Fucked up?"

_Madness is a nuisance_

"No, it's not," Lyn said, grinning.

_And no one is immune_

"Very true," Seto said with a sigh.

_Your sister, mum, or daughter may become a raving_

"I wanna go to a rave!"

"You're not old enough, Rea!"

_Lunatics are dangerous_

"Are not!" Lyn said, glaring. "Well, unless you have Reneey near fire.. sharp objects.. TV..." She began making a list.

_And doctors are obeyed_

Reneey burst out laughing; she had read this fanfic that had a hospital fantasy in it. Lyn, knowing what she meant, smacked Reneey upside the head.

_They go together just like toast and marmalade_

"I WANT TOAST!" Atem screamed. "Kaiba! Do you have toast?"

"Of course I have toast, baka pharaoh!"

_Ladies are like children with brains the size of squirrels_

"HEY! TAKE THAT BACK!" Lyn demanded, throwing Marik's Millennium Rod at Bakura.

Marik blinked and asked, "Was that just my Millennium Rod!?"

_Let's give a clitoridectomy_

"DON'T _EVEN_ THINK ABOUT ASKING!" Lyn preempted the question, shaking her head and shuddering rather as if she wished she didn't know.

_To all the little_

"We're not little!" Reneey screamed.

_Girls are helpless treasures_

"Helpless!?" Mai growled, and she and Lyn finished together, "I'll show you helpless..."

_Their Daddys must protect_

"I didn't even live with my parents, and nobody ever protected me," Lyn muttered darkly.

"I'll protect you now," Seto said confidently, wrapping his arms around Lyn's waist and promptly getting hit in the head by the Millennium Puzzle.

Not noticing this, apparently, Reneey said, "My dad left to Russia, to like.. work..."

"My dad's an ass," Marik said.

"So was my adopted father," Seto said grimly.

_So lie upon the table_

Yami Bakura tried to lie upon an invisible table but wound up falling.

_For the doctors to in-_

"NO NEEDLES!" Reneey yelled, jumping behind Lyn. "Save meeee!"

_Speculums are super_

"Get. A. Dictionary," Lyn hissed.

_And stirrups are the rage_

"Lynni.. please tell me," Reneey put on the puppy dog look.

"Dictionary," Lyn said in a sing-song voice.

Reneey pouted and grumbled, "You sound like my literature teacher..."

_So spread a lady's leg and put her back in_

Everyone made a face at that, except Mokuba, who looked at Seto questioningly but figured he wouldn't get an answer even if he asked.

_Cage of naked crazies_

"WHERE!?" Atem and Yugi yelled as they got up.

_The surgeon's here to bleed_

"THE SURGEONS TRY TO KILL YOU!"

_The doctors are all learned men_

"Yeah, thank you, Captain Obvious," Lyn said, rolling her eyes.

_And some can even..._

"What?" everybody asked.

_Reading can be risking_

"Yeah," Lyn said sarcastically. "Because I can't predict the plot of every single book I've ever read..."

_For a woman on the verge_

"The verge of death?"

Everybody but Lyn backed away fro Reneey.

_It only did us worlds of good_

"Good what?" Tristan asked.

_To poison, leech and --_

"STOP WITH THE CUT-OFFS!" Yami Marik screamed.

_Purging is a penance_

"I'm not telling you people anything," Lyn growled, crossing her arms.

_Phlebotomy's a chore_

"Not. Saying. Anything," Lyn declared.

_No need to sterilize the tools_

"Tools?" Mokuba asked, grinning. "I wanna play with tools!"

Seto growled. _Not again..._

"I'll tell you when you're older."

_We never did be-_

"Yeah, these cut-offs are getting annoying," Lyn sighed as she leaned against Seto.

_Fore the night is over_

"It's not night-time," Yugi muttered.

_Before you go to bed_

"NOT BEDTIME!" Mokuba squealed.

_They'll take a hammer and nail_

"I have a hammer and nail!" Ryou giggled.

"Lyn took mine," Reneey pouted.

_And jam it in your --_

"This had better not be perverted," Lyn muttered warningly.

_Headstones in the courtyard_

"I went to a headstone once! On halloween!" Reneey giggled.

"What's a headstone?" Mokuba asked.

_And statues in the park_

"Like the one in Concrete Angel?"

"That's a graveyard, Reneey."

_Are not for the insane_

"Of course," Lyn sighed

_Just leave them rotting in the_

"The light?"

"The dark?"

_D A R K_

"Knew it!" Lyn announced, spinning around.

_Dark_

"Okay, you can stop," Yami Marik said.

_Dark_

"You can stop now."

_Dark_

"Stop!"

_Dark_

"YOU CAN FUCKING STOP SAYING IT AGAIN!" Yami Marik yelled.

The song ended. Yami Bakura flashed his middle finger, then fell over and passed out.

Seto smiked, then stepped forward and said, "All right, I'm next."


	8. Seto Sings

Seto smirked as he picked up the mic, and the screen lit up to read:

"WITH LOVE

BY HILARY DUFF"

"You better keep your love away from my daughter!" Atem shouted, then promptly passed out.

Reneey burst out laughing. "Love..."

Lyn smacked her upside the head.

_I don't mind you telling me what's been on your mind lately_

"You're grounded, Lyn!" Atem yelled as he shot back up, then passed out again. Lyn blinked and didn't even bother to ask.

_I don't mind you speaking to me_

Lyn giggled as Seto smirked at her. And somehow nobody thought it was the seventh sign of the apocalypse that Lyndotia Elumo giggled, go figure.

_I know sometimes I can be wrapped up and into me_

"If you care so much about yourself then you don't deserve my daughter!" Atem yelled again, and once again passed out.

_I can be in such a rush_

"Lynni," Reneey said, blinking. Lyn made a face and smacked Reneey upside the head.

"No, that's not what he means, you perv!"

"Oh.. okay," Reneey giggled.

_Just slow me down_

_Just slow me down_

"KAIBA! KEEP THAT AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER!" Atem yelled.

Duke, Reneey, Tristan, and Joey all laughed. Lyn smacked them all upside the head.

_Tell 'em tomorrow everything will be around_

"Round n round it goes!" Mai yelled as she hopped around, and Joey drooled as he watched.

_You're the one who keeps me on the ground_

Seto winked at Lyn, who gave a happy fangirl sigh.

_Baby, you can be tough_

"LYNDOTIA! STAY AWAY FROM THAT KAIBA!" Atem yelled, pointing a finger at Lyn.

"Tough," Reneey sniggered. "I never knew that Seta was --"

She never got to finish her sentence, because Lyn whacked her upside the head about five times in a row.

_Say enough is enough_

"Yes, it's enough, now leave!" Atem snapped, but nobody paid any attention.

_(You can even be blunt)_

"Y'know," Lyn said, looking at Reneey, "you're good with being blunt."

"Burnt?" Reneey asked, blinking, and Lyn sighed.

"Never mind..."

_Just do it with love_

"STAY --" Atem started

_Love_

"AWAY"

_Love_

"FROM MY"

_Love_

"DAUGHTER!"

_Don't think I'll be crushed_

"Don't even think about playing the find-something-perverted-in-everything game!" Lyn snapped at Reneey, who gave an innocent smile.

_Just do it with love, love, love, love_

Seto sent an air kiss toward Lyn, who instantly forgot about being mad.

_Just do it with love, love, love, love_

"KEEP THAT LOVE FAR AWAY FROM MY DAU --"

But Atem never finished his sentence, either, because Lyn threw a bowl at his head.

_Just do it with love_

_I can take all of your honesty_

"Naturally, I don't lie," Lyn said proudly.

_All of your words weigh heavy_

"Heavy." This time Duke, Reneey, Joey, Tristan, and Marik laughed, but were quickly silenced by a barrage of flying objects including bowls, a table, and the Millennium Rod.

_Listen to you all the time (all the time)_

"Of course," Lyn said in a scary-sweet tone, "because if you didn't, then you would be sorry."

_I wanna always be there for you_

_Like the way you were always there for me_

"Aww, that is so sweet," Tea giggled.

_Always helped me walk the line (walk the line)_

"Who are you, Johnny Cash?" Lyn asked, blinking.

_Just slow me down_

_Slow me down_

"Why slow?" Malik asked, blinking.

"Yeah, fast is awesomer," Reneey giggled.

"THAT'S IT, TOMBKEEPER!" Bakura shouted as he proceeded in chasing Malik around the Kaiba mansion.

_I know you will always be around_

"You just now noticed that?" Lyn asked, sweatdropping.

_You could tell me I'm wrong_

"If it's Lyn, he won't get mad, but if it's somebody else, then he gets pissed off," Maris said, blinking.

"It's called love," Ryou said, stating the obvious.

_That I'm coming on too strong_

"YOU ARE!" Atem growled.

_Don't think I'll be crushed_

"Crushed, that's a funny word," Ryou giggled.

"Nuh-uh, Pucca is!" Lyn declared.

"PUCCA!? WHERE!?" Reneey shouted.

_Just do it with love, love, love, love_

"HE DOESN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF LOVE, YOU SICKOS!" Lyn shouted at Reneey, Ryou, Marik, Duke, Tristan, and Joey.

_All this time, we finally know each other_

"Don't tell me you just now know that," Yugi said, sweatdropping.

_Now that I'm finally leaning on your shoulder_

"Wait, I thought that was supposed to be the girl? I'm lost," Reneey muttered, blinking.

Lyn paid no attention; she just did another fangirlish sigh. I mean, her boyfriend was up onstage, singing a song to her! Who cared if he was drunk? She certainly didn't.. mostly because she was drunk, too.

_I can tell you, baby, that_

"So now they have pet names!?" Atem started freaking out.

_You're right when you're right_

"DUH!" said everybody but Seto, Lyn, and Atem -- even Malik from where he was still being chased by Bakura, and Bakura, who was currently trying to aim sharp objects for the tombkeeper's back.

_And when you're wrong, you're wrong_

"Pretty bad thing to say to a girl," Duke mumbled.

"Especially this girl," Joey added, remembering the last time he had accused Lyn of being wrong...

_And I can be weak, 'cause I know you'll be strong_

"Shouldn't it be the guy who's strong?" Reneey asked, blinking. "Sooo lost and confused..."

_Baby, you can be tough_

"AHHH, THE PET NAMES BURN!" Atem yelled.

_Say enough is enough_

"IT'S ENOUGH!" Atem yelled, running in circles.

_You can do it with love, love, love_

"Love! That's a funny word, it could mean so many --"

Lyn whacked Reneey upside the head five times, then added a V8 smack on the forehead.

"Owww..."

"That's what you get for being a pervert!"

_You can tell me I'm wrong_

"I'd _never_ say that," Lyn said, grinning.

_That I'm coming too strong_

"YES, YOU ARE! NOW LEAVE!" Atem yelled.

"Um, Yami.. calm down," Yugi said. "AND SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE, YOU BAKA YAMI!"

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

"What?" Yugi asked, blinking.

_Don't think I'll be crushed_

Before anyone could laugh or say anything, more flying objects were aimed at Reneey.

"ATTEMPT TO COMMIT MURDER THING!" Reneey yelled, pointing at Lyn.

_Just do it with love, love, love_

"FOR THE LAST TIME, KEEP IT AWAY!"

_Baby, you can be tough_

"THAT'S IT!" Atem turned around, closed his eyes, and covered his ears. "I'mnothearingthis, I'mnotseeingthis..."

_Say enough is enough_

There was silence as everyone looked at Atem.

"What?" he asked, blinking.

_You could even be blunt_

"Whats blunt?" everybody looked at Lyn.

"Get a dadgum dictionary."

"What's dadgum?"

Lyn twitched and began hurling random objects at random people.

_You could tell me I'm wrong_

"Right, because nobody _ever_ said that before," Reneey said, rolling her eyes.

_That I'm coming on way too strong_

"You never do," Lyn giggled.

_Don't think I'll be crushed_

Silence.

"What, you're not gonna say anything perverted?" Lyn asked disbelievingly.

"I think my brain cells are dead," Reneey complained.

"Your own fault," Lyn shot back.

_Just do it with love, love, love_

Silence.

_Just do it with love, love, love_

Silence.

_Just do it with love_

_Just do it with love, love, love_

Silence.

_Just do it with love, love, love_

Silence.

_Just do it with love_

Reneey, Tristan, Duke, Joey, Marik, and Ryou all burst out laughing.

The song ended, then Seto sent a wink at Lyn as he hopped down and then promptly passed out.

"I call next!" Tristan yelled.

"No, I do!" Duke objected.

"I called it first!" Tristan complained.

"But I wanna go!"

"Fine, we'll BOTH go!"

A/N: Lyn: Uh-oh. This couldn't be good. Oo


	9. Tristan AND Duke Sing?

A/N: So, this chap, we have two singers!

_Italics_ are Tristan

Underline is Duke

_Italic Underline_ is Tristan and Duke

--

Tristan and Duke hopped onto the stage and did identical insane grins as the TV screen wrote out

"PRISON BITCH

BY

... WELL, I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE"

"Prison Bitch! That's a funny, awesome song," Reneey giggled.

"Something tells me I'm not gonna like this," Lyn mumbled.

_They say our love is taboo_

"Taboo! I love taboo!" Reneey giggled.

"Taboos.. are bad," Malik said, blinking.

"And?" Lyn and Reneey asked, grinning.

_That what we're doing is wrong_

Lyn hit her head against the wall. "I'm sooo not gonna like this..."

"But it's funny, Lynni!"

_But I don't care what they say_

"That's right, you shouldn't!" Yugi nodded.

_'Cause our love is strong_

"I knew it," Lyn muttered miserably.

_They tell us we should be ashamed_

"Big broth --"

"I'll tell you when you're older!"

_We're not husband and wife_

Lyn made a face and hit her head harder. "Heaven save me..."

_But I cherish every moment with you_

Tristan grinned in a drunk way.

_I'm so glad that you're in my life_

"Life.. funny word," Malik mumbled.

_You're my prison bitch_

"Argh, Seto, do you have earplugs?" Lyn asked.

"Um.. they were here somewhere," Seto said slowly.

_My prison bitch_

"What's a --"

"I'll tell you when you're older!" Seto said to Mokuba.

_You're not like other men_

"Well, duh -- Duke has an awesome earring," Lyn said.

_I'm glad we share a prison cell_

"WE'RE IN JAIL!?" Bakura shouted.

"And here I thought we were in hell," Marik said darkly.

_When lights go out at ten_

"No, they don't! It's already eleven and the lights are still on!" Ryou said, again stating the obvious.

_I can't escape the way I feel, now that would be a crime_

"Why would it be a crime, big brother?"

Seto just groaned.

_As long as I'm doing you_

"I so did not need to hear that," Lyn moaned.

"But it's soooo funny! You shuld hear the meschosm tango!" Reneey grinned.

"Meschosm?" Malik blinked.

"She means masochism," Lyn sighed.

_I don't mind doing time_

"How can you do time?" Marik asked, blinking.

"IT MEANS BEING IN JAIL, YOU RETARDED IDGET!" Lyn snapped. "QUIT BEING A PERVERT!"

_'Cause you're my prison bitch, my prison bitch_

"What's a prison bitch?"

"I'LL TELL YOU WHEN YOU'RE OLDER, MOKUBA!"

_And I have no regrets_

_I got you for a candy bar and a case of cigarettes_

"Wow, now that's cheap," Reneey blinked.

_At first you were resistant, but now you are my friend_

"Somehow I'm thinking it's more than that," Lyn muttered, "And I don't _want_ to be thinking that, dadburn it..."

_I knew that I would get you in the end_

Lyn and Reneey suddenly began singing a complete different song: "One way or another, I'm gonna getcha.. gonna getcha..."

_Prison bitch, prison bitch_

"I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS A PRISON B --"

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT FINISHING THAT SENTENCE!" Seto overrode Mokuba's objection.

_I guess that you were sent from above_

"Above," Reneey laughed, and Lyn just kept banging her head against the wall.

_Prison bitch, prison bitch_

"A prison bitch is a --"

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" Seto snapped at Marik, who smirked.

_And now you are my prisoner of love_

"Which in this case would be a bad thing," Lyn said with a shudder.

"How so? Love is a good feeling! It warms you up and it's full of friendship! Friendship is just the greatest feeling in the whole wide world!" (A/N: Lyn: If you can't guess who said that one, you need help. XD)

Prison bitch, your prison bitch

"This song brings back many memories of funnies," Reneey grinned, and Lyn groaned.

I'm your prison bitch, your prison bitch

"Big brother!"

"I'll tell you in twenty years!"

And you're a sex machine

"Oh, there's this --"

Before Reneey could even finish her sentence, Lyn had thrown a table, a bowl, a vase, and her shoe at Reneey.

_I only have one request_

"Request," Marik and Bakura laughed.

_How about some vaseline_

"Is that, like, lube?" Reneey asked, blinking.

"Don't even go there!" Lyn countered.

_(Shut up)_

I'm tired of this prison, cell, I need to get away

"Why get away? Just knock the perv's lights out!" Lyn advised.

They sentenced me to seven years, not seven times a day

"Ouch.. I feel sorry for that person," Reneey said, wincing.

"I feel sorry for us," Lyn moaned miserably, still rather lethargically banging her head against the wall, which now had a head-shaped dent in it.

I'm your prison bitch

"But Seto, I wanna --"

"I'll tell you in twenty years!" Seto repeated.

Lyn growled and started banging her head so hard that the walls shook, and at this rate she would probably end up putting a hole in the wall. Seto had been ignoring her for almost the whole song!

_Your prison bitch_

"That would be a great RPG game."

Reneey looked at Malik, who looked at Reneey, who blinked at Malik, who then got hit over the head with his own Millennium Rod by a certain thief.

You nymphomaniac

"What's that?" everybody asked Lyn.

"Bad grammar in the retarded song. It should be satyriasist. And if you wanna know what that means, GO LOOK IT UP!"

I really hate those knockers that you tattooed on my back

"What does that mean?"

"GET A SLANG DICTIONARY! AND LOSE THE NAIVETE!"

I thought I could break away

"You never can, it's the law of anime," Lyn mumbled.

"And that fangirls are always superior," Reneey said, grinning.

"And that anime guys should not babysit children," Lyn added.

But now I'm losing hope, and god, I'm tired of picking up the soap

"What does that mean?" they again asked of Lyn, who banged her head against the wall again and this time put her head through it. Blinking, she shook the white dust out of her eyes and pouted because Seto still wasn't paying attention.

_Prison bitch, prison bitch_

"Seto, you never tell me anything!" Mokuba pouted.

Seto groaned. _This was supposed to be a romantic dinner for Lyn and me! How did it turn into this!?_

_Turn off the lights 'cuz I can hardly wait_

"Okay," Yugi giggled, but before he could even move --

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, YOU DADBURNED COTTON-PICKING IDGET!"

_Prison bitch, prison bitch_

When I get out, I'm ready to go straight

"_I_ didn't need to hear that," Bakura growled.

Lyn smacked herself in the forehead and yelled, "That's not anything perverted, you moron!"

_You're my prison bitch, prison bitch_

"Prisonbitchisasexslutinaprison," Reneey said really fast.

"What's a sex slut?" Mokuba asked.

"UMBRA!"

"RENEEY!"

_I'll never say goodbye, you're not like all the others_

"Others? What others, brother?"

Seto glared at Reneey. "I blame you and your perversion."

_Too bad they had to die_

Reneey laughed. "There's this fan --"

Lyn smacked her upside the head five times.

On second thought, I'll stay here with you if you want me to

Your prison bitch will never leave

"Why, brother?"

Seto then began beating _his_ head against the wall.

_At first you were w cell mate_

_Now you're my soulmate!_

_Come over here, baby!_

"Baby? There's a baby in this song, brother?"

"I'll -- tell you -- when you're -- older," Seto said between banging his head. Lyn gave him a strange sort of sideways look that seemed half angry and half hurt.

Oh, not again! Now I know why they call you a hardened criminal!

"Hard," Reneey laughed, and Lyn smacked her upside the head ten times in a row!

"Jeez, this must be some kind of record for getting smacked upside the head in one night! Even for you, Lynni!"

Hold on -- you're gonna find out why they call it the poky!

Tristan and Duke collapsed into hysterical laughter and then promptly fell off the stage.

"That's it, I call next," Lyn growled, stomping forward.


	10. Lyn Sings

Lyn walked -- okay, kind of stormed -- up onstage. The karaoke screen lit up again and read:

"WHILE YOU LOVED ME  
BY SOMEBODY  
... I MEAN, WHO REALLY CARES ANYMORE?"

Lyn glared and kicked it, and it switched to reading:

"FINE!  
WHILE YOU LOVED ME  
BY RASCAL FLATTS"

"Thank you," Lyn said, rolling her eyes. There was a moment's pause, and then the screen read:

"YOU'RE WELCOME"

Lyn blinked and then looked over at everyone else with an almost frightened expression.

"THE SCREEN.. TV.. THING IS ALIVE!" Reneey yelled, running in circles. "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

"It has a microchip with inherent personality," Seto said in a this-is-obvious voice, rolling his eyes.

Reneey blinked. "Riiight... RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

Probably nobody had noticed that the music had started, but it had, and so Lyn started to sing:

_If I ever write_

Reneey blinked. "Ever write? 'Cause all that paper stacked up in your closet was written by an invader?"

_The story of my life_

"Oh, like an.. auto.. thing?" Reneey asked.

"Autobiography?" Joey asked, blinking.

"Yeah, what he said!"

Seto gaped. "The mutt.. knows.. a six.. syllable.. word!?"

"Shut up, rich boy!" Joey growled.

"Oh, fuck off and mind ya own business!" Reneey snapped at Seto. "Can you get those four measly words inside ya head!?"

Hey, she's drunk, so she can blame it on her drunkness as a defense when Lyn goes all psycho on her later!

Seto started to say something, but then Lyn caught his gaze as she continued to sing:

_Don't be surprised  
If you're where it begins_

"That means?" Tristan asked.

Reneey shrugged. "It's by Rascal Flatts, but I've never heard this song, so..."

_Oh, I'd have to dedicate_

_Every line on every page_

_To the memories we made_

_While you loved me_

"Ohhh! This is a love song for Seta!"

Normally, Seto would blow up at Reneey, but at the moment he was staring at Lyn and blinking. She was singing a song for _him_? ... But why was it past tense...?

_I was born the day you kissed me_

"WHAT!? KAIBA, YOU DARE TO KISS MY DAUGHTER!? YOU BETTER BACK OFF RIGHT NOW, YOU (BEEP! ... Yeah, Atem is too OOC for this story, so that's why we cut out the curse...)!"

_And I died inside the night you left me_

"KAIBA, YOU BETTER RUN! YOU HURT MY DAUGHTER, NOW GET OUT BEFORE I (beep beep beep beep beep A/N: Lyn: Yeah, somebody's been watching to much of the Abridged Series...)!"

Everybody stared at him. Even Lyn paused with her singing to blink at her dad. And Seto was blinking, too, completely confused and uncertain if he had heard Lyn's words properly. Finally, Lyn went back to singing:

_But I lived_

_Oh, how I lived_

_While you loved me_

_But I always loved her.. and I will always love her,_ Seto thought confusedly. _Does she think I don't!?_

_I'd start with chapter one_

"Chapter one of Kill Bill Volume one!" Reneey screamed as she span around. "I like Kill Bill..."

"Who's Bill?" Malik suddenly demanded.

"It's a movie, you must see it! It has blood, and gore, and an old man who's racist, and halfbreeds, and --"

Reneey kept on counting on and on, and then Marik asked, "What movies do you watch?"

_Love innocent and young_

_As the morning sun_

_On a new day_

"Love and innocence! It's the best ever feeling! Like, the best, next to friendship!" Tea said with a drunk sort of giggle.

Reneey sweatdropped. "You are so lucky Lyn's up there onstage right now..."

_Even though I know the end_

"But it's not the end," Seto whispered, though no one heard him.

"Of course ya do, ya psychic!" Reneey giggled, taking full advantage of the time that Lyn was too preoccupied to whack her upside the head. And/or kill her. Whichever was easier or more fun, really.

_I'd do it all again_

"Wait.. do WHAT again!?" Atem demanded, wide-eyed. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY DAUGHTER, KAIBA!?"

_'Cause I got a lifetime in_

_While you loved me_

"Big brother," Mokuba whimpered, looking up at his brother with teary eyes, "do you not love Lyn any more?"

"What!? No!" Seto objected. "Of course I love her! I always will!"

_I was born the day you kissed me_

"KAIBA! (Beep beeep beeep beep)!"

_And I died inside the night you left me_

"KAIBA! (peeb peeb peeb A/B: Yeah, "beep" is soo old, so I'm using "peeb"!)!"

_But I lived_

_Oh, how I lived_

_While you loved me_

"But I still love you, Lyn," Seto whispered. "Why are you doubting my love?"

_I was born the day you kissed me_

Everybody looked at Atem, waiting for him to blow up.

"My throat hurts," he complained.

"I hear ya," Reneey said, grinning. "After I'm through screaming, I lose my voie for a week!"

_And I died inside the night you left me_

Serenity suddenly sat straight up from where she had been laying, passed out, on top of a table. "LYN DIED!? OH MY GOSH! JOEY! LYN DIED!"

"LYN IS DEAD!?" Joey screeched.

"LYN'S DEAD!?" Tea repeated, and she started crying.

"YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL BAKAS!" Yugi yelled.

"DON'T EVEN SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" Atem and Seto objected at once, and then they looked at each other and scowled.

_But I lived_

_Oh, how I lived_

_O-o-o-oh, I lived_

"Lyn's alive! Yay!" Tea did a happy dance.

_I was born the day you kissed me_

_(The day you kissed me, baby)_

"Gahhh, the pet names again!" Atem moaned. "They burnnnnn!"

Tea suddenly got an idea. She went over to Yugi and kissed him! And Yugi, being drunk, kissed her back.

"Lyn, I will always kiss you and say I love you if you stay with me!" Seto whispered desperately. Was she going to leave him!? And what did he do wrong in the first place!?

_And I died inside the night you left me_

"Lyn di --"

"NO, SHE DIDN'T DIE, YOU INCREDIBLE BAKA!" Ryou yelled at Tea. "IT'S A PART OF SPEECH!"

_But I lived_

_Oh, how I lived_

_O-o-o-oh, I lived_

_While you loved me_

The music faded, and Seto growled, stepping onto the stage, grabbed Lyn, and kissed her fiercely. Immediately, Atem leapt forward and was held back by Joey and Tristan.

Seto finally broke off the kiss after a couple of minutes and whispered into her ear, "I'm sorry for whatever I did; but I love you, Lyn, and I will never, ever stop loving you."

Lyn blinked at him in surprise for a moment, and then she felt a smile spreading across her face. She hugged him tightly, suddenly feeling extraordinarially foolish. How could she have thought she had lost him over something so stupid? (A/N: -coughdrunknesscough-)

"I love you, too, Seto."

"Ooh, I go next!" Tea yelled as she hopped up onstage and grabbed the mic.


	11. Tea Sings

Tea spun around in a circle while holding the mic and nearly tripped over the cord. Fortunately (A/N: -coughunfortunatelycough-) she managed to keep her balance, and the screen lit up in blue to read:

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME

BY ALAN JACKSON

HAVE FUN WITH THIS ONE, HON"

Lyn blinked. "Wow, Seto, you really gave that thing attitude."

Seto just smirked and kept his arms wrapped around Lyn. He had thought he was going to lose her there for a while, and he wasn't about to let her go yet, damn it!

"AHHHHHHHHH THIS SONG HAS A DETEISTEDS IN IT!" Reneey yelled as she hid behind Malik, who blinked.

"What's a deteisteds?"

"A _dentist_, idget," Lyn said with a sigh. "Honestly, you're dating her and you can't even understand her?"

"Well, what's a dentist?" Malik asked, blinking even more now.

Lyn sweatdropped and then shook her head. "I wouldn't kiss him any more if I were you, Rea," she advised. "Not till he learns what a dentist is..."

"NO, SAVE ME!" Reneey yelled, running around the room.

_Well, I was sitting in a roadhouse down on highway forty-one_

"We're on a highway?" Joey asked, blinking.

"Dude, what's a highway?" Duke asked.

"I don't know," Tristan said slowly.

_You were wiping off some ketchup on a table that was done_

"Seto, do we have any more ketchup?" Marik asked.

"Marik, you're at my house!" Seto hmphed. "Of course I always have ketchup! And that's Kaiba, to you!"

_I know you didn't see me, I was in a corner booth_

"Corners are awesome!"

And so Reneey grabbed Malik and went to a corner for some.. activities.

_Of course you weren't my waitress, mine was missing her front tooth_

Reneey burst out laughing; Lyn chuckled to herself a bit; and everybody looked at them.

"You people really don't know who this song is for, do you?" Lyn asked.

_Yugi-slash-Uncle in a waitress outfit,_ Reneey thought, laughing.

_So I flagged you down for coffee_

"Flogged," Reneey laughed, and Lyn smacked her upside the head.

"Not flogged! _Flagged_!"

"It sounded like flogger..."

_But I couldn't say a thing_

"It would do wonders if that were true," Marik muttered.

_But I'm in love with you, baby, and I don't even know your name_

"This is really pathetic," Seto said with raised eyebrows. "Isn't his name Yugi?"

"In a way," Lyn said with a slightly curled lip.

_I'm in love with you, baby, I don't even know your name_

"MY NAME IS YUGI, YOU BAKA!"

"AND MINE IS ATEM!"

_I've never been too good at all these sexual games_

"Sexual games," Reneey muttered, smirking. She looked around to make sure her dad and Lyn weren't looking, then dragged Malik off somewhere.

Lyn blinked. _Why isn't Reneey laughing, and why don't I have someone to smack upside the head?_

_So maybe it's just best if we leave it this way_

Silence.

_I'm in love with you, baby, and I don't even know your name_

"Okay, I want to date a girl that knows my name!" Yugi shouted.

_Where is Reneey!? I need to smack someone upside the head!_ Lyn growled as she looked around the room. She was prevented from actually searching by Seto's death grip on her waist, and that bugged her. Maybe she should smack _him_ upside the head.

_So I ordered straight tequila, a little courage in a shot_

"I want tequila," Bakura muttered as he stole some tequila and drank it.

Lyn's eye twitched and she whacked Bakura upside the head as he walked by.

"BAKA PHARAOH'S DAUGHTER!" he roared.

_I asked you for a date and then I asked to tie the knot_

"WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?" Bakura snarled at Lyn.

"Because you're a thief and you bug me and I had to hit somebody upside the head and I didn't want it to be Seto," Lyn said without a pause.

_I got a little wasted, yeah, I went a little far_

"Whatever." Besides, Bakura had his liquor, and he didn't care so long as he could still drink it.

"Hey, save some for me, thief!" Marik shouted.

_But I finally got to hug you when you helped me to my car_

"You have a car?" Yugi asked, blinking.

_The last thing I remember, I heard myself say_

_I'm in love with you, baby, and I don't even know your name_

"FOR THE LAST TIME, IT'S Y-U-G-I M-U-T-O!"

_I'm in love with you, baby, I don't even know your name_

"IT'S A-T-E-M, FOR RA'S SAKE!"

_I've never been too good at all these sexual games_

"WHY AREN'T YOU LAUGHING, RENEEY!?" Lyn demanded, but got no answer. "Fine, give me the silent treatment..."

_So maybe it's just better if we leave it this way_

"What way?" Mokuba asked, blinking.

"For them? Nonexistant," Lyn said, rolling her eyes. "'Cause Yugi doesn't have the guts to ask her out, Dad actually has a brain, and Tea.. well, is Tea," she finished with a shrug.

_I'm in love with you, baby, and I don't even know your name_

"FOR THE -- OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT!? I QUIT!" Yugi then passed out.

_The next thing I remember, I was hearing wedding bells_

"The wha?" Marik asked, blinking.

_Standing by a woman in a long, white, lacy veil_

"Eurgh. Did not need that mental image," Seto said, sweatdropping.

"Seriously," Lyn agreed with a sigh. "Normally those are my lines..."

_I raised the veil, she smiled at me without her left front tooth_

Silence.

_And I said 'Where the hell am I, and just who the hell are you'?_

Lyn gaped. "Did.. Tea.. just cuss!?"

"Hell isn't a curse word," Bakura said, sweatdropping.

"Yes, it is, idget, unless you're actually talking about the place..."

_She said, 'I was your waitress, and our last name's now the same_

_'Cause I'm married to you, baby, and I don't even know your name_

"Well, hell isn't a _big_ curse word," Bakura said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, 'cause there's a big difference," Lyn spat sarcastically.

_I'm married to a waitress, I don't even know her name_

"Well, who the fuck cares!?"

Lyn blinked. "About the cursing or about Tea being married to a nonexistant waitress?"

"The.. oh, whatever," Bakura grumbled, taking another drink.

_I've never been too good at all these sexual games_

Silence.

_I never thought my love life would quite turn out this way_

Silence.

_Hey, I'm married to a waitress, and I don't even know her name_

Soon Reneey came back with her hair messed up and her shirt on backwards. With her was Malik, who had no shirt on and was wearing very tight jeans.

"Reneey?" Lyn asked, blinking. "Where did you come from?"

"Well, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they get in --"

"NOT WHAT I MEANT, YOU PERV!"

"Well.. I was... in the bathroom!" Reneey said, grinning.

Lyn blinked, raised an eyebrow, and looked from her to Malik and then back again. "Uh-huh," she said slowly. "Right. I'm not gonna question that just because I don't wanna know any more."

"PUT A SHIRT ON, TOMBKEEPER!"

"I'm a-goin' next!" Joey announced, practically mugging Tea to get the mic away.


	12. Joey Sings

A/N: Lyn: Er, no, I'm not a homophobe, and rednecks/hillbillies/Southerners aren't homophobes, either. That's a stereotypical generalization, like saying we're all stupid or something. I have friends who are gay, straight, and bi. I just really don't want to hear about it -- and I don't want to hear the dirt on straight couples, either, for that matter.

Me: Yeah, anyway, this fic is gona end soon. We only have like.. five or something like that chapters left. Anyway, review!

Lyn: Oh, and don't forget the secret end chapter, the secret of which we are guarding with our lives!

Me: ... Uhh, I totally didn't sell the secret on eBay with my mind and my soul and my conscience and some dude named Bob bought them...

--

The big blue screen changed to:

"CATFIGHT

BY KATERINA

HEHEHEHEH"

_Round one_

"Round one," Reneey laughed, and Lyn smacked her upside the head.

_Come on, put your money down_

"Er, I would, but then the whole room would be filled with money," Seto mumbled.

"I have ten bucks!" Reneey cried.

"Hey, I'm missing ten bucks!" Seto declared.

_Won't stop till I get you on the ground_

"We all know what that means," Duke laughed.

"No, it doesn't, idget!"

_If you're looking for a cat fight_

"Oh, naturally," Lyn grumbled, rolling her eyes.

"What's cat fight?" Yugi asked.

"I don't know," Atem admitted, blinking. "Lyn, what's a cat fight?"

_Girl, you're gonna get one from me_

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

_Round two_

"What's with these rounds?" Marik asked.

_I heard you fuck my love_

"Enough with the dadburned cursing!" Lyn grumbled.

_You kiss and tell_

"Most girls do that, it gets annoying," Lyn hmphed.

_Now you can kiss my glove_

"Oh, like on Bugs Bunny, when Bugs took off his glove and slapped Elmer in the face?"

"That was a challenge to a duel, Rea..."

"Who's Bugs Bunny and Elmer?" Malik asked while trying not to get killed by Bakura.

_If you're looking for a cat fight_

"I am!" Duke and Tristan raised their hands, and received a glare from Lyn.

_Get your ass out in front of the referee_

"This ain't no sport!" Ryou yelled.

_(Let's go)_

"Sure!" Reneey grabbed Malik, but before she could drag him off again, Bakura grabbed HER and dragged her somewhere he could keep an eye on her.

Cat fight, I'm scratching on your doors tonight

Joey accented this point by scratching on the microphone, and Seto snapped, "Careful, mutt! That's expensive!"

_Wrong state, you shouldn't break this kitten's heart_

"Kittens? Noo, kittens are cute!" Marik said, grinning, and everyone backed away.

_Bad move, I'm gonna stop your filthy move_

"Okay, didn't need that mental picture," Lyn sweatdropped.

_So meow, meow_

"Oh, kittens! Where!?" Marik looked around.

Lyn gave Malik a sideways glance and asked, "Is he gonna go all Alf and eat them or something?"

_I'm gonna getcha back somehow_

"Getting back at ppl is fun," Reneey said, grinning.

"PPL?" Bakura asked, blinking.

"People," Reneey said in her Russian accent.

"Piple?" Bakura blinked.

"She means people!" Lyn snapped. "Honestly, you're her father!"

_Round three_

"What's round three?" Ryou asked.

Bakura looked at him for a moment and then said, "I'll tell you when you're older."

_Come on, make some noise for me (meow)_

"Don't. Even. Think. About. It. Tombkeeper," Bakura growled.

_You're black and blue_

"I'll make _you_ black and blue if you don't shut up about kittens!" Lyn snapped at Marik who was presently rambling about kittens and wouldn't shut up. "But seriously.. you're not gonna go all Alf and eat them, are you? 'Cuz if you do, I'll have to kill you for cruelty to animals..."

_With my stiletto on your back_

"Youch, that's gotta hurt," Mai said.

"I used to have a stiletto!" Reneey grinned.

Lyn gave them both a strange sort of sideways look, then grinned. "I had a stiletto blade, but never a stiletto heel."

Several people, including Tea, Duke, and Serenity, took a few shifty steps away from Lyn. And they had always thought that _Reneey_ was the dangerous one...

_You were looking for a cat fight_

"WHERE!?" Tristan and Duke yelled.

_I got no mercy for you tonight_

"Mercy is weakness," Bakura spat.

_Cat fight, I'm scratching at your door tonight_

"Anyone who leaves any marks on my house is going to pay for it!" Seto yelled.

_Wrong start, you shouldn't break this kitten's heart_

"Oh, kit --"

"Don't even start it again!" Lyn yelled at Marik.

_Bad move, I'm gonna stop your filthy groove_

"Oh, Lynni, remember Groovy Love from Scooby Doo and the Alien Invaders?" Reneey asked, grinning, and Lyn snickered.

_So meow, meow, I'm gonna getcha back somehow_

"PPL?" Bakura asked, blinking.

"It doesn't sound right when you say it, Daddy," Reneey sweatdropped.

_Catfight, I'm getting back what's mine tonight_

"That reminds me soo much of Youko..."

"Who's Youko!?" Malik demanded, and Bakura laughed.

"See!? I knew you were just a phase!"

"Um, Daddy? .. Yeah, Youko Kurama is.. an anime character..."

_Wrong start, you shouldn't break this kitten's heart_

"Ya know, with animal testing, some cats hearts are killed," Reneey said.

_I won't stop_

"Stop at what?" Duke asked.

_Till I show you who's the bitch on top_

"BDSM!" Reneey yelled, earning her yet another smack upside the head.

_So meow, meow, I'm gonna getcha back somehow_

"PPL?" Atem asked.

"Yeah, it just doesn't sound right when dads say IM talk," Lyn said with a sigh.

_I got a tip of your clever trick_

"Nobody can stop my clever tricks," Bakura said, smirking, and Reneey and Lyn had to bite their tongues to keep from laughing.

_Nothing left to do_

"Actually, there are," Reneey said. "Other alternatives from cat fighting..."

"Like what?" Duke asked.

"Punch their lights out and get it over with," Lyn suggested, shrugging.

_So I'm here to make your nightmares come true_

"Stereotypical evil person!" Reneey gasped, pointing at Joey.

_It ain't right_

"No, we shouldn't fight!" Yugi agreed, pouting. "It's wrong!"

_But I'm willing to fight_

"No! Fighting bad!"

_And I'll even scratch and bite_

Malik winced as a mark on his back started to ache from -- (Lyn: OKAY, TOO MUCH INFORMATION, RENEEY! Me: -sticks out tongue-)

_So hold be back, I'll go crazy like that_

"Being crazy is fun," Lyn said, grinning.

_And I'll stop at nothing once I attack_

"Daddy," Reneey pouted.

"No!" Bakura snapped.

_Let the situation out of the ring_

"What ring? There's a ring?" Mokuba asked, blinking. "Lyn, YOU'RE MARRIED TO SETO!?"

Lyn and Seto both blinked and stared at him, and Atem yelled, "WHAT!?"

_I feel I gotta do my thing_

"Well, duh," Mai said, rolling her eyes. "That's what teenage girls do..."

_I'll make you wish that_

_You never set your thin lips on him_

_(you bitch)_

"Argh, again with the cursing?" Lyn sighed.

_Catfight, I'm scratching on your door tonight_

"NOBODY EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" Seto yelled.

_Wrong start, you shouldn't break this kitten's heart_

"Nobody ever broke _my_ heart," Mai said, smirking.

_Yeah, 'cuz you break theirs,_ Lyn thought with a dark glance at the blond.

_Bad move, I'm gonna stop your filthy groove_

"Grooovy, grooovy," Reneey sang the song from Scooby Doo and the Alien Invaders.

_So meow, meow, I'm gonna getcha back somehow_

"Revenge is like a forest; you could get lost in it. Taken from Kill Bill Volume one," Reneey said, grinning.

"WHO'S BILL!?" Malik demanded... again.

_Cat fight, I'm getting back what's mine tonight_

"This could be taken in a perverted way," Duke said, and Lyn stared at him, blinking.

"Reneey? You're not gonna say anything?"

"Huh?"

"IT'S THE SEVENTH SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE! RENEEY DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING PERVERTED!"

"What's an apocalypse?" Tristan asked, blinking.

_Wrong start, you shouldn't break this kitten's heart_

"Breaking hearts are evil.. unless they deserve it," Reneey sighed.

_I won't stop, till I show you who's the bitch on top_

"Ya know, when Joey is in a dog suit, he technically is --"

"DON'T NEED THE MENTAL IMAGE, THANKS!" Lyn yelled over Reneey's statement.

_So meow meow, I'm gonna getcha back somehow_

Ryou grinned as Joey passed out and jumped up onto the stage. "I CALL NEXT!"


	13. Ryou Sings

The big blue TV changed to read:

"TRASH THE RENTAL

BY SOHODOLLS"

Ryou grinned.

_What's driving me is driving you_

"You have a car!?" Bakura demanded, blinking. "I'm your yami and I didn't even know that!"

_Born from the same race, the same blue_

"WE'RE IN THE BLUE RACE!?" Malik screamed.

"NO, IDGET!" Lyn yelled, whacking him upside the head.

_You try to resist, you try to resist_

"That never works," Atem sweatdropped.

_But I tell you, tell you, tell you, tell you_

"We aren't deaf, Ryou," Seto said, twitching.

_Baby, you're gonna stay_

"We don't have to!" Marik yelled.

_Can you give me a ride, baby? Come on, place?_

"HOLY SHIT RYOU IS A PROPSTUT! HOW THE HELL YOU PRONOUNCE IT!"

"Prostitute, Rea," Lyn sighed. "And I didn't need that mental picture, either..."

_Trash it, trash it_

"PUT THAT THING DOWN!" Seto barked at Bakura and Marik, who were about to trash something expensive.

_It's just a rental_

"See, Kaiba!?" Marik asked, grinning. "It's just a rental!"

_Trash it, trash it_

"NOT THAT, EITHER!"

"It's just a rental, Kaiba!" Marik laughed.

_Trash it, trash it_

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF THAT!" Seto yelled at Bakura and Marik.

_Don't be gentle_

"See, Kaiba?" Bakura asked, grinning. "My hikari told me not to be gentle!"

_Trash it, trash it_

"NO! YOU CAN'T EVEN PICK THAT UP!"

_It's just a rental_

"Don't blame us, blame Ryou!" Marik and Bakura smirked.

_What is your name_

"Oh! I'm Mokuba, she's Lyn, and he's Seto, and she's Reneey, and he's Yugi, and he's Atem, and he's Duke, and he's Joey, and he's Tristan, and she's Tea, and she's Serenity, and she's Mai, and he's Marik, and he's Malik, and he's Bakura!"

_We want to know_

"Why?" Seto asked, holding tightly to Lyn and growling a bit.

_If you play our game_

Reneey made to move, but then Bakura grabbed her and pushed her behind him, glaring at Malik, who was looking nervous.

_Pull down all defenses, pull down all defenses_

"Why?" Lyn asked, blinking.

_We'll take 'em, take 'em, take 'em_

"Why, big brother?" Mokuba asked.

"I don't know... but I'll tell you when you're older."

_With our offenses_

Reneey shuddered. "I remember my gym teacher teaching us to play basketball. The words defense and offense bring evil memories..."

_Trash it, trash it_

"What? You two aren't going to do something stupid?" Seto asked, blinking at Marik and Bakura, who shrugged.

"Nah."

_It's just a rental_

"I wonder if Japan has Blockbuster?" Reneey mumbled.

"Who's Blockbuster!?" Malik demanded.

_Trash it, trash it_

"Kaiba, where's the trash can?" Tristan asked.

"Over there," Seto said, pointing, and Tristan ran to it.

_It's just a rental_

"SHE'S NOT JUST A RENTAL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" Seto yelled, and his hold on Lyn got tighter as he pulled her closer.

_Trash it, trash it_

"Er, you can trash that, I don't need it any more," Seto said to Tristan, who was puking his guts out into the trash can.

_Don't be gentle_

"Why be gentle? I mean, being rough and --"

"LALALALALALA -- I AM SO NOT HEARING THIS!" Lyn yelled, fingers in her ears.

_Trash it, trash it_

"Hey, Kaiba, where do I trash the trash can?" Tristan asked.

_It's just a rental_

"FOR THE LAST TIME, SHE IS NOT A RENTAL!"

Ryou grinned and passed out, and then Serenity grinned and started jumping up and down, yelling, "I'm calling next!"

A/N: Wow, we finished this chapter in less than twenty minutes XD

Lyn: Don't blame me for the slow editing! Blame my boyfriend. Not my fault he called while we were writing...


End file.
